Another Bride, Another Groom

Arthur's niece Trina is getting married, and Arthur, in a rare moment of generosity, has organised the limousine and volunteered Terry as chauffeur. The bride is waiting. The car, however, is not going to the church. Arthur has bought a load of magazines in the belief that they were books, and now they have to be disposed of, and the limousine is the only transport on offer. Nobody at the wedding knows about the magazines, which is the whole point of the exercise. Arthur's belief that they were books is either innocence or optimism, and with Arthur it is hard to tell the difference.

The magazines turn out to be pornography. But their owner is not the forgiving type. He gives chase. So does a corrupt policeman who sees a blackmail opportunity, because in this part of London a wedding day is just another market day. Terry, at the wheel of the bride's car, full of someone else's magazines, pursued by both men, works out whose fault today is. It is Arthur's. As ever. The bride's limousine is now a getaway car in all but name. The chase carries them through the city streets, with the wedding getting further away by the minute.

Willis Hall and Leon Griffiths wrote it, Mike Vardy directed. Warren Clarke is Ashmole, Ian Hogg is Grantley, John Judd is Noisy, Desmond McNamara is Reggie, John Hartley is Bernie, Peter Holt is Readies, Mark Botham is Darrell and Roger Kemp is Malcolm, all of them orbiting Dennis Waterman and George Cole. The guest list reads like a roll call of familiar seventies faces.

Somewhere a bride may still be waiting for a car that is busy elsewhere, full of contraband. It is a farce with the brakes off, and the wedding is the least important thing in it. Minder did weddings like it did everything else. Nobody gets where they're going.