Life in the Fast Food Lane

Terry's new girlfriend, Sarah Bates, has one problem: she is the daughter of a burger millionaire. Sir Ronald Bates guards his fortune jealously and assumes every man who approaches his daughter is after a slice of it. Sarah tries to hide her background, but the truth comes out, and then things get properly strange. The family money sits behind everything, and nobody in the episode ever forgets it.

Arthur, in the red after a deal involving dodgy car-phones, sees an opportunity. For a fee, he agrees to break the couple up. His method is to tell Sarah that Terry is suffering from a terminal illness, a lie so cruel it would be offensive if it weren't also quite funny. David Daker plays Sir Ronald with the suspicious air of a man who has spent his whole life waiting for exactly this kind of gold-digger to appear, and Jan Francis's Sarah is sharp enough to see through most of it, though not quite all.

And the car-phones, it should be said, come from a dodgy supplier, because that is the only kind Arthur ever finds. His day involves being squeezed by his own deals while trying to wreck his minder's love life, and the two strands tangle together in the way that only Minder plots can. Keep an eye out for a young Peter Capaldi as Ozzie, years before he took over the TARDIS.

Alistair Beaton and Leon Griffiths wrote it, and Terry Green directed. Dennis Waterman is Terry, George Cole is Arthur, Glynn Edwards is Dave, and Patrick Malahide's Chisholm puts in a shift. Timothy Carlton plays Granger and Jake D'Arcy is McTaggart, with Michael Povey's D.C. Jones on hand.

The best moment is Arthur delivering the bad news to Sarah with the grave face of a man announcing a death. He is, technically, announcing one. Just not the one anyone will remember.